‘To pray is to change,’ said Richard J. Foster. C.S. Lewis stated, ‘Prayer does not change God; it changes me.’ And Eugene Peterson said, ‘A changed world begins with us… and a changed us begins when we pray.’

“To pray is to change.” These words have been reverberating in my mind since I first read them two weeks ago. And they seemed to add to my long-time ponderings around authenticity, discipleship and, of course, prayer.

I have found myself pondering these things, specifically authenticity, after watching and hearing the deep hurt within dear friends who have been let down again and again by people who wear the label of “Christian” and “Jesus-follower” yet neither spoke nor acted like Jesus. And along with my hurting friends, I have asked “Why?” Why this lack of authenticity? Why do their personal lives and actions not line up with the values of their respective churches, and more importantly, not line up with who Jesus is?

When humans are involved, there is never a simple, straightforward answer that applies to every situation. So I do not claim to have the one answer here. I do however, feel it is quite key to seeing our congregations living authentic lives that reflect the heart and nature of the One we follow.

First – Discipleship.  Journeying together and teaching through example and discussion. It goes beyond a Sunday sermon. It’s “come walk with me and learn from me” kind of stuff. It’s to take the truths and values that we teach and make them real, flesh them out in a way that for our people it moves from concept to lifestyle.

We can have great strategies, excellent programs, be out in our communities and engaging with people on a variety of levels. But if those Christ-like values don’t cross over from helping out at the Alpha Course to how they treat someone they are annoyed with, or from helping out at the Food Bank to how generous they are in other aspects of life, then there is a disconnect somewhere.

And I would suggest that this disonnect is partly lack of discipleship. We can get so busy, there’s so much to be done, so much vision and we can release people into leadership before those values have made it from head-information to heart-transformation, from theory to life-style, from something they do to who they are, from simple passion to rooted conviction.

Second – Lack of prayer. Real prayer.

Because prayer, real prayer, is to change.

Prayer is more than an activity, something that we “do”, a list we run through with God to ask Him to do what we can’t and to bless the things we can.

Prayer, like all areas in the life of a follower of Jesus, is about a love relationship. Richard Foster says ‘Real prayer comes not from gritting our teeth but from falling in love.’ In his book Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home, he compares prayer with coming home. He says, ‘He invites us into the living room of His heart, where we can put on old slippers and share freely. He invites us into the kitchen of His friendship, where chatter and batter mix in good fun. He invites us into the dining-room of His strength, where we can feast to our heart’s delight. He invites us into the study of His wisdom, where we can learn and grow and stretch . . . and ask all the questions we want. He invites us into the workshop of his creativity, where we can be co-laborers with him, working together to determine the outcomes of events. He invites us into the bedroom of his rest, where new peace is found and where we can be naked and vulnerable and free. It is also the place of deepest intimacy, where we know and are known to the fullest.’

Prayer is to encounter again and again the person of Jesus, our soul’s First Love. It is to experience the heart of the Father. It is to learn by heart the very whisper of Holy Spirit.

And just like it happens with anyone we love and admire and hang around, we begin to act like Him. Speak like Him. Think like Him. See things like He sees them. We begin to love like Him. We begin to change.

This is why I have given my life to inspiring people to pray. I am absolutely convinced that when we encounter Jesus in the place of prayer, when we pause and spend time there, we begin to change and we become, like His disciples – people of whom it is said, “Those guys have been with Jesus.”

After saying “to pray is to change” Foster goes on to say,’Prayer is the central avenue God uses to transform us… The closer we come to the heartbeat of God the more we see our need and the more we desire to be conformed to Christ…”

And not only that, as our hearts meld with His heart, we are propelled from that place with the same cry as Isaiah – “Lord, send me!” We become willing to be the answers to our own prayers – and in that as well, we look like Jesus.

So to end, I believe with all my heart that the key to authenticity is prayer. Real prayer.

And then the discipleship partners with the prayer, with the place of encounter with Jesus; it brings gentle guidance and accountability, wisdom and insight, experience and grounding.

And the fruit is an entire people, a culture, who, to borrow a line from Pete Greig’s The Vision Poem, ‘are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night.’

Again, I know it is never really quite so straighforward and there are many more factors that contribute to the making of “authentic disciples” but I can’t shake this deep conviction that the key is prayer, prayer that is falling in love.

Because to pray is to change.